First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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