Pants 0. Shit 1.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
