The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
