Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
