Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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