my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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