Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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