apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
