oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
