i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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