first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
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No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
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I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
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