Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize
