i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
