He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
