Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
