she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
No subtext here. People are naked.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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