Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
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