The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
