we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
