their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
