Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I can't turn off my feet"
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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