Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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