all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
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