In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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