oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
