I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
