I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Randomize
