She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Randomize
