Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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