Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Enjoy the penises
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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