I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
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It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
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He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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