oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
