he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
