Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
