I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Is Oprah even human
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
