I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
