I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
