you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
