He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
i think i just lost a toe
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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