Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
