I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
I did not marry a roomba.
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