i need an iv and a liver transplant
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
