Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
