The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Randomize
