I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Randomize
