Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
