So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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