I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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