we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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