Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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