So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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