My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
