sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
