You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
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