they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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