No awkward lesbian experiences without me
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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