do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
