I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
