Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
